Packing has asked me to take inventory - of what I have, and ask what I really need. It seems like a basic exercise, but the the latter portion of it is what's really taking some thought. What do I need? Needs come in various forms. Truthfully, it's difficult to predict what needs I'll need before I even start my service. Different situations may call for different needs. Yes, I'll need a toothbrush, Nalgene, clothing, etc. These things I know. The quantity of each is still up in the air, but thankfully the current PCVs are helping out with that. Basic needs are understood. But what about electronics, remembrances from home, luxury items? How much and which of those do I actually need? And how many are just glorified wants? Can another person's wants (aside from food, water, shelter, clothing, medicine, etc.) be another persons needs? Before I put an item on my packing list (I have two - one for tentative items, the other for definites), I ask myself these questions. But it's these questions that are blurring the distinction between the concrete and tentative packing lists (to the point where I don't know which is which anymore).
I imagine that these questions are a part of Peace Corps service. I bet that I'll ask myself, over the two years, to challenge my notions of wants and needs (if it doesn't happen organically). In the end I realize that anything I don't pac,k or choose not to bring, will not be forever removed from my life. If I forget a picture at home, chances are I can ask someone to mail it over to me. But for things that aren't easily mailed, I'll likely adapt. Going into my service, I've tried to outline some skills and weaknesses that I have that will either enhance my experience or cause potential challenges. I've always felt that adaptation was one of my biggest strengths. Not unchecked adaptation, which asks someone to assimilate or else, but, instead an evolution through understanding. Challenges and discomfort are often seeds of growth. Rather than removing the seed by unsustainably feeding and appeasing these "needs", I'll (hopefully) look to water it it by attempting to understand what the true need is - at its root.
I know it's just a packing list. I know I may be giving it way more thought than I should. But these questions allow me to step back from my possessions and genuinely ask what's important to me. And in taking inventory, I've realized that what's really important to me, and what I really hope to take with my to Namibia are my relationships. The beauty of packing these? They take up far less space than a sleeping bag and 15 packets of taco seasoning (don't ask). So, for the two weeks I have left at home, I will try to fortify every important relationship in my life. Whether its dinner, coffee, or a phone call, I hope to leave knowing that I effectively reached out to everyone who is important to me and let them know how their love, encouragement, and teaching have advanced me as a person in their own unique way. These relationships will be pushed to new, uncharted depths - depths that can only be reached with two-years of communication at an uncertain frequency. I am so eternally grateful for the flexibility and support of family, friends, and everyone in between. Thankfully, I had orientation at URI to help me start the goodbye process. Saying goodbye to forty, incredible friends was hard to do, but I'm glad I had the chance to do it. And people have reached out to me. Their love and support has been so important. I've heard from people who I didn't expect to hear from, and others I wasn't even aware knew I was leaving. For that I am so incredibly flattered. But the rest is up to me.
So when taking inventory, I've realized that it's not necessarily what I bring, but the mindset that I bring it in. A current volunteer said it best:
Hey group 40, you'll be arriving in Namibia THIS month!
Just wanted to share with you the best and most important advice that anyone gave me before leaving.
Take a couple deep breaths. Eat all of your favorite foods. Drink your favorite beer and wine. Surround yourself with the people you love.
See you guys soon!
Chipotle here I come.
